Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Randomize
