i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
he just fucked me for my cheese.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
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