If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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