I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
