I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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