it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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