My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
