we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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