Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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