Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
