Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize