I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
