I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
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They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
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The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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