You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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