How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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