Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
