So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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