Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize