I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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