hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize