I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
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