girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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