clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
