Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
50% drunk capacity currently
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
