bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
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