I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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