So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
