It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
