listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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