my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
he just fucked me for my cheese..
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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