I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You were trust falling into bushes
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
