that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
we should paint friendship bongs
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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