But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
