That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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