kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
