I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
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He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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