Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
