Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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