forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
