saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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