I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
