lets start a swedish sibling band together
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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