i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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