I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
