I murdered the dance floor call the cops
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize