I hate your face
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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