TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
