My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Operation Purity has been aborted
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
