Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
