you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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