4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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