thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again