Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.