i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low