you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.