she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
