If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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