thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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