hell yes lets make some ravioli
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
