Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You dont lie about slip and slides
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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