even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
