I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
