im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
