I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
